Sensitive-Kid: Wow, I did it. Dad, look how I killed that beast.
Anti-Guy: What’s that? That’s horrible so much violence and blood everywhere. I don’t want you to play such a violent game.
Calming-Wife: Dear, there is so much violence in the movies, on TV, in the books. Beside, this is just a game.
A.G.: In the game the kid feels that he is doing the actual killing, the next step is to do it in real life.
C.W.: Kids have been playing pretend game for thousands of years. They pretend to be baseball players, little parents and also knights and warriors. They know that this is a game. All the psychological researches didn’t find any relation between playing video games and actual violence.
A.G.: But, look at all the blood and the bodies all over, this is not a sight for kids. They don’t have this in a pretending game.
Tech-Kid: Most of the games allow the tuning of the gore. You can set the level to the minimum and the bodies will disappear once you kill the beast, and there will also be no blood.
A.G.: Really, I didn’t know that. But still why the games are centered on killing all the time.
T.K.: Beside the pretending side of the game, that mom knows much more from being a psycholo-therapist, the killing of enemies is just the symbol of solving the puzzles in most games. The games are usually a combination of puzzles that some of them reward you with needed items, but some others of killing bosses. It is just a way to make the game more interesting and surprising.
C.W.: Don’t just take a short look at the screen and say it is too violent. Try to sit with us, and play a while, and you can see if you think that it is really so bad as it seems at first glance.
Anti-Guy: If I hear that music piece one more time I’ll break the machine!
Calming-Wife: Another bad day at the office, dear?
Anti-Guy: What does that has to do with that horrible music?
Calming-Wife: You always pick on the video games when you have a bad day.
Anti-Guy: No, I’m not, I’m picking on the games all the time, but that is beside the point. I’ve been hearing the same annoying song for an hour now, and it drives me crazy.
Tech-Kid: Dad, they have only a very limited memory capacity on these games. They can’t put a lot of music or dialogues in it. This is the reason that the dialogues are always written with captions, and you hear the same song all the time.
Anti-Guy: How can you listen to it, so loudly, for so long?
Tech-Kid: This is real improvement from the old games where they could only play with beeps, now at least it is real music.
Anti-Guy: But why so loud?
Calming-Wife: When they started the game, it was so cute, and we make it loud to enjoy it. I didn’t even notice that it is still that loud, I’ll make it lower.
Anti-Guy: I’m sorry, if I’ll hear even with low volume, I’ll scream.
Calming-Wife: From the side it is always annoying because you don’t see the game. We can’t turn it down, it is part of the game.
Tech-Kid: No mom, you can turn the music down, and keep the sound effects, that we need for the game. They have a different controller usually.
Calming-Wife: OK, we’ll turn the music down and put some of your favorite songs instead. Please come and join us, we’ll listen to it, and play together.
Tech-Kid: Yes, dad, we really need you help here.
Sensitive Kid: Yes, dad, it will be fun playing when you around supporting and guiding.
Anti-Guy: If you’ll keep telling me that, I’ll start enjoying it.
Most of the games come with build-in music which can be played during the game. Usually this music is sweet and fun for the first 10 minutes, but eventually it becomes repetitive and annoying, especially for the people around the player. The shouting of “stop playing this awful game”, usually starts from the other room, where they can’t see if this game is really stupid and awful, but they know that its music is awful, after hearing it over and over in the last 30 minutes (and sometime 5 hours . . . ).
The solution for that problem is easy: Shut the music down, and put on your favorite music instead. Most games allow control over the level of the music, thud let you set it to zero (after 10 minutes that is enough to enjoy the original game music) while the level of the narrative or the sound effects can stay in the middle. Now you can put your preferred music from Opera to hard rock, and let you and your kids enjoy good music while you’re are playing together.
Every game, not just video games, involves some level of emotion in it. The right amount of the emotion determines the enjoyment of the kid from the game. When the level of emotion in the game is too low, the kid is likely to quit playing. You can easily see that in too long cut scenes that you have in many of the games. On the other hand if the level of emotion is too high your kid might break in tears and frustration. As a participating parent you should keep the level of emotion in the “healthy” zone.
When the emotion level is decreasing too low, you can increase it. For example, you can add background voices in certain events in the games. The laughter you are going to hear when the “boing” or “ttss” will come from you instead of from the game, will encourage you and your kid to keep playing and get over boring parts. You can also read out loud the text in the writing cut scenes.
When the opposite is happening and the kid is getting too emotional, the adult parent should try and lower it, usually with encouraging words.
Keeping the emotion in the “right zone” improves the enjoyment from the game and most important on fun of playing together as family.It is also important to remember the emotion zone during the game when trying stop playing. Pausing the game cause a drop in the level of emotion, which is not easy to handle for young kids. Like movies that are not turning the light on when the level of the audience emotion is too high, you should try to make the transition to the real world as smooth as possible.
Here are some simple and easy ways you can use to keep your kid’s emotion level balanced:
Don’t buy frustrating games - there are many games that are too difficult, some of them because of poor design, and some because they were designed for hard-core players. You can use this guide for some selection, but it is always good to check in the reviews or the seller in the store for advice about its level of difficulty.
Jump the long cut scenes – When the cut scenes are getting too long or too repetitive you can usually jump over them by clicking the “Action” or “Start” button. In well balanced games the cut scenes are good in prepare for the next scene, either as giving valuable hints for the coming challenges or immersing you into back into the game. But in many games that cut scenes are only killing the fun, when you have to see them again and again. Make sure not to jump too fast, since you might loose important information for the rest of the game.
Read the text together – Many games have textual cut scenes instead cinematic ones. It can be from lack of memory in the game or the console, or from having to produce too many expensive cut scenes. Young kids who are having troubles in reading, and even older kids who don’t have the patience to read the text through, need your help to go over them. You can usually jump them without reading them by clicking fast on the “Action” button. It is better to read the text, but it is much more fun to read it out loud. If your kids are too young you can read the whole text yourself. You can use different voices to the different characters. Don’t worry that you might mix the voices, your kid will remind, with great joy, when you are getting the voices wrong. If your kids are starting to read, you can share the reading, when each of you is reading one-character lines and the other reads the lines of the other character. Your kids will prefer to read the lines of the hero, as they are usually shorter and not just because he also plays the hero. You can play all the other characters the hero is meeting along the game.
Set to Easy mode - It is better to start a game in the easiest difficulty level. It gives you and your kids more confidence, and you can always go and play it again in a higher level of difficulty when you feel you have mastered it. Most games start in the easy mode as a default, but some of them start in medium level and you should decrease it from the “Options” menu. Setting the level to the easiest won’t ruin your fun of the game when played for the first time, just lower the number of frustrating moments.
Work together - Video games are best solved and played when played as a group. Even if the game doesn’t have multi-player mode, and there is only one controller, you can still play it as a team.
It starts with discussing what is going on, what has been tried already and what is still ahead of us. What is the most beneficial next step, which is based on the multiplication of cost (how much time it will take us to get there? How many enemies must we fight on the way, which will cost health points? And other such questions) and of effectiveness (What are we going to find there? What is the likelihood that it is really there?). It sounds more like a board meeting of an industrial company or a discussion in a military headquarters, but this is exactly the kind of talks that will help you get through the games. In the beginning of your gaming experience, you as the parent must take the place of the manager or the commander of the discussion. Ask the questions, give your guidelines and ideas, and teach your kids to think, invent ideas, and evaluate options until finally they are also ready to make decisions. After your examples. They will soon be able to manage these discussions, with you, by themselves and with their friends.
One of the things that might cause some arguments among you is “Who is holding the controller?” In the beginning the controller gives the sense of control on the game, and it is important that it is held by the hands of the kid. Rest assure that they will be better with it than you will ever be (their reflexes are sharper, their hand eye coordination is faster), but at the same time you are better thinkers. Use that advantage and the fact that you are not wasting your time on moving your fingers to look around the game, and think how to solve it better. After a few hours of playing a game, your kids will be satisfied with the actual control, and you will have a better understanding of the game rules, and you can start sharing your expertise. Your kid will be happy to teach you the control and will be more willing to listen to your advice. Let you kids hold the controllers in the first hour of the game, don’t try to take it from their hands, if they fail to make a specific jump or trick. Probably you won’t do it better. Always ask for the controller and let them hand it over. This is also a good lesson in politeness. Encourage them to try it again, read in the manual for tips of how to do it better and use the other methods that are discussed here. Never take it from their hands and do it for them!
From my experience, every player has his good moves and bad moves, and once you discover it together, your kids will give you the controller to preform the tasks that you found are easier for you. You will have your share of actual controller holding. Just make sure that you are still able to have control of the game through your kids, by talking, laughing and teaching, which is what playing together is about.
Encourage to keep on exploring - Each new game is like a new world that you have to explore to learn its rules and items. You have to walk around the place, look at things that look out of place or strange and check them. Only if you’ll try many things and search many locations, you will be able to solve the games and advance through them and avoid getting stuck too long. You should encourage your kids to keep on exploring and not run forward all the time. When you get stuck somewhere in the game, it will be a great opportunity to teach them how be more thorough in their search, to move slowly around the place, check every item until the solution pops up. You can direct them in their search if you happen to know where to look, either from the guide that you read, or from your own ideas. Try not to tell them the solution, but let them find the solution by themselves. This is a delicate situation that you’ll have to learn your kids feeling, and make sure that they are walking on a thin line between making things too easy or too difficult. If they find it too easily, they will lose interest very fast, but if they find it too hard, they will not enjoy it. If they are looking for a solution too long, and you come up with the solution, it might frustrate them more, than if you had given them the solution sooner, before they reach that level of high frustration.
Search on-line or buy the guide - It is almost impossible to finish every game without some external help. Even if you are a veteran of many games, you are going to get stuck, somewhere in any game, and it will happen more frequently if you are a new comer to this world. You and your kids will find you wandering around a room for almost an hour, with no exit in sight. You will fight a boss, twenty times in a row, and it will not show any sign of weakness. Before you throw the game out of the window, cursing its creators, swearing that you are not going to play it or any other game ever again, you should know that help is near.
The two most popular help methods are guides and cheats:
Guides are solutions that lead your step by step along the game, directing you what, how, where and when to do. They are also called: FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions), Walkthru (Walk-Through) or Solutions. You will never need the whole guide, since most of the games you will be able to do on your own. You need it only when you are really stuck, when you want to find some secrets that are not necessary part of the game or just easier ways to solve various problems, or when you want to fully master the game. Good guides are usually created with the help of many people around the world, that each one is contributing small tips to fill in the missing parts of the game picture. Some of the guides are written by or with the help of the game developers, but they are not necessarily the best. Many times people, who are playing the game, find ways to solve it that isn’t in the original design of the game.
Cheats on the other hand are used to change the game and make it easier. Cheats are also known as Codes or Passwords. They are usually limited to a specific aspect of the game (invincibility, extra power, life or money, more items or weapons etc.) or to a specific location in the game (hidden door or item).
Take a break - Like any process of learning, our mind needs some rest every now and then to come out with a solution to a disturbing problem. When we are trying to solve a problem with no break, we tend to solve it in the same manner, even if that way didn’t lead to the solution. When we take a break, do something else or sleep on it, when we come back to it, we see it in a different way, and we usually solve it in a matter of minutes. This kind of break is not the type of break that is recommended in the game manual (“Take a break for 15 minutes every hour of gaming”), but a break that is used to clear our mind and help us look at the game in a new perspective. We can have it when we are playing the game.
When entering a new territory, the first things to take care of are security issues. The rumors and the stories that you heard about the new world of electronic games are mostly exaggerated. There are no 20 feet monsters or fire blowing dragons. But still too many people had visited it for short time and return with terrible stories. To help you get over the dangerous shores of this fascinating land, we will review the most common problems that you are likely to encounter in the beginning. I’m sure that many of you will recognize these problems from first or second impression. Maybe you already tried to land there, and ran for your life or just heard about the dangers and deciding to keep your distance, or maybe you are already standing on the shore, looking into the promise land wandering what is the next step.
I’ll use the service of a very sympathetic family taking their first steps with the new console and games. They are Mr. Anti-Guy, Mrs. Calming-Wife, and their two kids Sensitive-Kid and Tech-kid. Mrs. Calming-Wife is a psychologist and wants to improve her family life with some electronic games. Her brother told her about the amazing games he plays with his family, and it sounds very promising. Her husband Mr. Anti-Guy is a bit more skeptical about the issue, and prefers his kids to be raised like he was. Their kids are 6 and 10. The older Tech-Kid has broken every device in the house, and even managed to assemble some of them back. The younger Sensitive-kid is full of imagination and enjoys tales of far and fantastic lands and times.
It is too frustrating!
Sensitive Kid: I can’t do that any more. This is the third time that I’m trying to get into that room, and they kill me all the time.
A.G.: This annoying game is bringing tears to his eyes, I think that I’ll break it.
C.W.: Frustration is par to life, try and show your son how to handle frustration in less destructive ways.
A.G.: You are right, but what can we do? I can’t beat these guys for him.
T.K.: The games are usually designed to allow simple solutions, if something looks too hard, there must be a different way to solve it.
C.W.: That’s right, let’s try and see how else can we get to this room.
T.K.: There are also many items that you can find along the way, that you can use to solve the difficult puzzles.
C.W.: OK, let’s see what we had found so far.
S.K.: Mom, we started it only an hour ago, all I have is two items, and I already tried them.
A.G.: I think that it is time to stop playing, and do something else.
C.W.: That can also be a good idea, sometimes when you stop thinking on something for a while and let you mind rest, the solution just pop up into your head.
S.K.: I really want to do it now, please help me find a way to solve it. I prefer to finish with a good taste, that I beat that part.>
C.W.: Let’s try and think about it all together.
T.K.: When you are starting a game and get stuck, it is best to try and read the manual for tips, or search the Internet for guides. It helps with learning the concepts of the game and the type of puzzles.
A.G.: I’ll read the manual, and see what this game is all about, maybe I’ll be able to help.
T.K.: I’ll find the online guide and see if they have any tips for that specific room.
C.W.: And I think that if this game will be interesting as it is until now, we can buy the guide book, and find all the secrets and fun it offers.
S.K.: With such a family, I know that we can beat these guys. They don’t stand a chance against such an incredible team.
When you are playing video games you must be prepared to the feeling of frustration. Video games are hard! They are demanding! You can’t bend the rules (almost . . . ). You and your kids are going to find yourselves, trying for hours to perform a task that prevents you from going on in the game. You or your kids are going to throw the controller on the floor, promising yourself that you are not going to touch this game ever again (and you just spent $10, $20 or maybe even $50 for it).
This question is the easiest to answer but the hardest to solve.
"Many kids, on a minute-to-minute basis, are told what to do, what to wear, what activities they can or can't do," says Warren Buckleitner, editor of Children's Software Revue. “When they get their hands on a mouse or a game controller, they can do things that they may not be able to do in the real word”, he notes. “Such as race cars, explore haunted houses, play sports with the pros — heavy stuff for a 5-year-old.”
Games that kids love and parents don't This is one side of the picture, the kids side. But what about the parents? Why don’t we want to give our kids what they want? The answer here, from my experience is that it is our first experience in being equal to our kids and maybe even inferior, instead of being the superior omnipotent parents that we are all the time. When it comes to video games, we have to learn the rules from scratch just like they do, we can’t come and teach them how to play, since we never played these games in the past. We usually can’t use our experience, power and knowledge to beat them easily like we can in Scrabble, baseball or Chess. Furthermore, their little hands are getting much faster in using the controllers and their little minds are faster grasping the odd display and rules.
How do they control it?
The problem is simple; on one hand we have kids that have too much control (they can use a gun, they can drive a car, they can hit people, they can jump from building...), and on the other hand we have us, the parents, with too little control (we can’t out run them in the races, we rarely can beat them in the fighting or shooting games...). What can we do? Should we avoid these situations by either let the kids play on their own, or maybe not play video games at all? Or can we still find the way to participate with our kids in their new world, help them to learn and grow, direct them in their first years, prepare them better to the world outside our loving family house. Can we avoid the arguments and building distance between us? I think that the answer is Yes, and that reading this guide can help you find that magic path.
Would you like to hear your kid say “Mom, can I read my book for few more minutes?”, “Dad, can I keep on making my homework?”, “Granny, can I play the piano for a while”, “Grandfather, I want to play chess with you?” I guess that there are parents that enjoy the privilege of hearing these sentences, but for the common parent like me and you, it is not like that, at least not as often as we would like it.
If you ever thought about trying to play video games with your kids as a way to improve your family life (having “cool” parents) and their level of enrichment, you were probably pushed back when you saw that it is too complicated. You couldn’t handle the control, you didn’t like the violence, you didn’t understand what to do, and many other similar problems.
I’m writing this guide because I want to help you as parent step into the new brave world of electronic games. This world may seems to be reserved for heavy gamers only. These “odd Aliens” people are willing to waste many hours playing alone and piles of dollars for the most exciting and complex games, and they can easily find their way there. I believe that this is only one side of the picture and the other less known side of this world need some exploring and charting.
In this guide I often use the analogy of exploring a new land to start playing electronic games. I found many resemblances between these experiences. For example, the strange language, appearance, and behavior of the native gamers in the eyes of new comers can be easily compare to the encounter of the settlers in America and the native Americans. Fear, attraction, pettiness are all mixed together in that interaction.
Just like many of the people who came to the “new world” 400 years ago, I was also pushed to this recent “new world”. Most of the people who embarked on the ships from Europe left many problems behind, and were ready to suffer the rough beginning that waited them in America. I lost my wife when my son was just a 3 year old. I decided to take the ship to games world, hoping that it will make our life better. Some of the brave and insane people back in the past, found what they were hoping for, and opened the way to many others to a better world. I believe that I did the same. I spent many hours and some money exploring the electronic world with my son. We tried to travel in any direction that seems interesting and challenging. We met on the way many bad monsters (and I mean very bad games), but we also found many great treasures. Many of our friends returned after a short trip, other went too deep in one of the caves, but we continue to tour the world and learn its wonders and dangers. It is time that we draw the maps to allow you to follow us, and guide you to where you want to go. Staying back in the old world may seems conservative and safer, but you are missing the future that starts here. You know what is bad in the old world, and now you’ll know what is good in the new one, and how to avoid the dangers. The rumors that you heard about it are not from real travelers that want exactly what you want. The rumors are from people that stand on the deck, looking to the shore, fearing the local habitants, food and weather. Another type of rumors are coming from marketing people that are looking for people to fill their ships for their profits. The first rumors try to discourage you from going with tales of dangers, and the latter rumors promise you gold that grows on trees. I’ll provide you with the plain facts, detailed maps and good tips and let you find your own place to fulfil what you dream about your family and kids.
The challenge that I have now is more difficult from my past travels, I want to try and convince you that the new world really exists, and to help you see it for yourself.
Let’s start with the major questions about the electronic game’s world, and see if we can answer them.
Tech-Kid: Dad, Mom, I think you should read this book!
Anti-Guy: I don’t need a book about your annoying video games!
Calming-Wife: Don’t talk like that to him, he is your son. Try to listen, please?
Tech-Kid: Really, this book can help you understand that video games are not just noise and violence, but also great educational and family-bonding tools.
Sensitive-Kid: Mom and dad, you could both play with us, and stop yell at us to stop playing all the time?
Anti-Guy: This is just a game catalogue!
Tech-Kid: No, it said on the cover that it can show you “what and how you can enter as a parent the new and frightening world of electronic games”.
Calming-Wife: we do need some help there...
Sensitive-Kid: Please?
Anti-Guy: I am tired of throwing good money on these games.
This particular dialogue I still didn’t hear, but I did witness many of the other dialogues in this blog. In a matter of fact I usually witness only their beginnings, and rarely their happy endings and good resolution. I’m sure that you’ve had these discussions or arguments about video games in your family before. Sometime it is the mother who is the “Anti-Guy” and sometime it is the father. The “Calming-Wife” can be the mother who tries to create a family of love, or the father who wants some harmony around him, and maybe to have a better connection with his beloved children. The “Tech-Kid” can be the “know-it-all” girl, that reads and knows every thing around, or it can be the older boy that just reassembled the family VCR for the 7'th time. You may recognize all these characters in you, and in the people around you. I hope that while reading this guide you’ll be able to lead these frequent dialogues to their happy resolution, from a basis of solid knowledge instead of rumors and first impressions. Let’s face the facts that families are here to stay, and generation difference is something that you can’t avoid, and that electronic games are and will be part of our life. Now that we know that, let’s make the best out of it, and the best is really good.
It is time to start a journey, that won’t take you to the edge of the world but far beyond it. It won’t cost you thousands of dollars on flights or hotels, but only few dollars a month. It won’t take you away from your work or from school, but you can enjoy it from the comfort of your home. It won’t take you away from your friends and family, it will bring you much closer to them.
Let’s first see the resolution of the conversation that we started listening few seconds ago:
Tech-Kid: With this guide you can “save a lot of money, by choosing the right games and making each game a long and lasting experience for the entire family”.
Calming-Wife: How do you know all that?
Tech-Kid: One of the kids in class brags that his father is buying him amazing games, playing with him and the family is working together to advance through the games. He told me that he found a copy of this book by his father’s bed.
Sensitive-Kid: I think that I know what to buy you for Christmas, mom and dad.
Calming-Wife: Just like the cheese cakes book that you bought us last year?
Tech-Kid: We do get better deserts this year.
Anti-Guy: I really didn’t believe that I will be able to love making cakes.
Calming-Wife: You always knew how to make us better parents and family.
Tech-Kid: Are you ready for the next improvement in our family life?
Anti-Guy: I don’t want to wait until Christmas.
Calming-Wife: Each one is giving his share and we can buy this guide together.
Sensitive-Kid: Great idea, mom. Here is my share.
Tech-Kid: It worth every penny, here is my share.
Anti-Guy: How can I refuse you, my darling family? Let’s start a new adventure together.
Do you have kids between age 3 and 12? Do you work with kids in these ages? This is a great time and opportunity to learn something new things about and for them, with this guide for electronic games.
This is not a guide for “which new games can I buy for my kids”! This guide is about “why and how can I enter as a parent the new and frightening world of electronic games”. It is not intended as yet another gift catalogue, but more to be a parents’ guide.
If your kids are just a burden for you, and you just want an easy way to make them quiet, look somewhere else. There are plenty of guides that will help you quiet them and your conscience with some new games and toys to buy. This guide is for parents who want to enrich their kids and improve their family life. If you read parents guides before your kids were born, whenever you had a crisis like death in the family, or just when you wanted to help them gets rid of their diapers, this guide is for you. It covers the psychological aspects of games and the short and long benefits of various game types. It also contains a massive collection of tips based on my experience that will help you handle the problems along the way. After reading and understanding these topics you will be ready for the last part with an actual list of games to play with your kids. When you’ll get there, you’ll understand why I wrote “to play with you kids” and not “buy for your kids”. This is the time to choose if you want to continue reading, or move to the easier “gift catalogue”. I don’t promise you the easiest path, just the more beneficial and fun, which is what games are all about.
Another desired target audiences are our children’s teachers. They spend a lot of effort educating and teaching our kids, using various tools like books, work sheets, fun books, educational software etc. But the more advanced electronic games are still rarely used, if at all, in the struggle for the attention and mind of the children. I’m sure that once these dedicated professionals educators and teachers understand what lies behind the disturbing cover of these games, they will find excellent ways to improve our children’s education. Making school and homework a more pleasant and enjoying environment.
